Everyone has fantasies. The mind is a restless movie house that churns endless movies that occupy our attention. Depending on our state of mind, fantasies can either be an escape to another world or a promise of what is possible. If we are able to hold our attention long enough, an illusion can become our reality.
Married women who are dissatisfied with their marriage indulge in fantasies to escape the humdrum of their daily existence. A home maker tired of managing the house can escape into her fantasy world as a globe-trotting adventurer with a good looking love interest. This coping mechanism allows them to become someone else and experience a new range of possibilities without putting themselves at risk.
Why a fantasy?
Wives experiencing a plateau in their relationship are highly vulnerable to an affair. This is true for women who used to have exciting careers and traded it for screaming children and potty training. The husband too tired after a day’s work snoring soundly at bedroom maybe enough to take the zest out of the relationship and turn what was once an exciting consortium to a boring predictable arrangement.
Eventually if the couple isn’t careful a lack of sexual intimacy may occur. Sex is always a strong indicator of the state of a relationship. Its lack or presence determines whether or not the relationship can weather a crisis. The risk of an affair begins and the mind, when given enough fodder, can churn out an endless stream of possibilities that feed on a couple’s marital dissatisfaction.
Fantasies of Dissatisfaction
Men and women harbor a secret desire for sex and adventure. In a recent study it was discovered that 61 percent of women and 90 percent of men fantasize sexually about the people they meet. People who are sexually satisfied with their relationship are less likely to stray from their marriage despite the temptations that abound.
However, when some dissatisfaction is not addressed in the marriage, sexual fantasies can start out as innocent suggestions that tease and tickle the mind of playful adventure ultimately turning to a conscious decision to stray.
Fantasies or excuses?
Lack of emotional connection is the main reason that a woman may decide to cheat especially when she may happen to be married to an emotionally immature or narcissistic husband who expect his wife to meet his every need. She may hold out for a while for the sake of the children but when the wife decides that she has had enough, she can take matters into her own hands and fill that void in her life by engaging in an affair.
Married women seek to escape the tediousness of boredom. – Marriage demands a lot. Women who feel stuck and dissatisfied with their sex lives may seek the excitement of an affair to add meaning to their mundane existence or fill the loneliness of their spouse’s absence. Women with husbands who are always away are prone to this kind of loneliness.
Validation that they are still desirable. – A woman normally has an affair because she seeks an emotional connection. When a woman has been married for so long and her husband hasn’t taken the time to appreciate her worth, she may seek validation outside of her marriage. Sometimes it may even be to get even at her husband who may have also been unfaithful to her. A man who makes her special will encourage her to fall for him and enter into an affair with him willingly.
Looking for a physical release. – Women have needs too. When there is a lack or total absence of sexual intimacy in the relationship, cheating with someone else may bring out the desire for sex. More so when the lack of sex is due to a partner’s medical condition. For women, the desire to be wanted and needed is closely related. When that emotional connection is established outside a marriage, a woman’s chance of breaking her marriage vows may not be too far behind.