Betrayal always has a reason to it, despite the fact that frequently, that reason is not known or perceived but must be in order to actually answer the questions around “once a cheater, always a cheater.” All actions are meaningful and people do not do anything without a purpose.
When men are caught red-handed, they don’t generally think about admitting it. Rather, they fabricate stories and relentlessly deny any interest in cheating. Yet, what would you actually do when your wife finds out you are cheating? Here are few things to think about while you are considering whether to admit or deny infidelity to your wife.
Once you said yes, you can never go back
Admitting to your partner that you are cheating is somehow a far different thing than your marriage. You can bail out of it when things are not working between you and your spouse, but in the case of confessing infidelity, there’s no going back. This does not convey that you have to continue deceiving your wife; it actually means you can’t undo the action. You cannot change what’s done – the damage has been made. Once the cat is out of the bag, there is no way of putting it back in. Can you tell your wife that you cheated on her and then try to reduce and play down? Yes, you can do that but what your partner will hear is “I had a carnal experience with someone else rather than you.” You can get down on your knees and beg for pity and forgiveness, and swear to God it won’t happen again. If you are expecting her to look at you and get down to make you feel better, she won’t. She will still stare at you and see someone who had sex with another girl (with a bit of insecurity).
One secret after another
Notice that when you open secrets to your friends, they are compelled to tell you what they have been hiding for some time because they feel a ring of trust surrounds your friendship. In marriage, not everything else can turn out what you are expecting. When you admit cheating, your wife may also reveal a secret that she has been hiding all through the span of your relationship. How would you react if she didn’t cheat but tells you out of spite? After prolonged sighs and staring down the floor, she tells you she cheated too… but takes it back and says she just made that up because she wants you to know how it felt like to hear the news. Worst, she could admit things you are not ready to hear: The son whom you love truly is not yours. She has been just after your wealth. You are boring but because of her reputation, she can’t desert you. Sucks, right?
Too much information
Women are full of speculations and queries. Once you admitted that you cheated, she may ask for details which you should not reveal to her. Spare her the agony of knowing where you and your lady love met, where you hang out, and whom you banged. You could do better with the truth by saying, “I cheated and that was the worst mistake ever. I’m sorry. There’s no need to discuss the particulars, I’ve offended you enough.” Let your wife fall into a rage if that is how she wants to react. Stop talking to prevent being obliged to go into details.
She just does not know how to react
Your wife may be appalled and piped down as if she does not care. She may shrug her shoulders and say, “Alright, you betrayed me. Now what?” This may show a sign of maturity and composure but will completely hurl you for a hoop because are you not expecting some tempestuous response as a part of why you are telling her? It may be to dispel differences and negative emotions or it may be a repressed introduction to divorce. Hence, you are anticipating something, right? It’s not like she’ll stare at you and ask what do you want for supper.