Infidelity must be one of the oldest human conditions. Traditionally, extra-marital affairs used to be a man thing. In a recent study from Indiana University, it was revealed that 19% of women compared to 23% of men admitted to cheating in their current relationship. Women are starting to catch up.
Marital dissatisfaction has been identified as the main reason for women who cheat on their husbands. When they don’t get what they want, the need for affirmation can make women vulnerable to cheat.
When women don’t get what they want
The need for emotional connectedness can stem from situations where a woman does not feel safe or appreciated in a relationship. When the husband becomes too busy with work or fails to appreciate the effort it takes keeping house, neglecting her can take its toll on and set the stage for infidelity.
Below are 5 factors that can lead a woman to stray:
If you are emotionally distant and withdraw from her. – If men won’t stand for ignoring, women also won’t. Anne, who works for a construction company and married for nine years to a husband who didn’t show much affection, much less touch or kiss her; who only had sex with her when he wanted, finally had enough. She got tired of being a doormat and had an affair with the first guy who hit on her. When asked why she decided to start the affair, she says that her lover makes her feel special and was always there when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
If you cheated on her, she could get even. – Men who expect their wives to be faithful should think twice before being unfaithful themselves. Months into the marriage, Claire was confused at her husband’s change of behavior. He didn’t want to touch or kiss and was emotionally distant. When she found out that her husband had an affair with another woman who got pregnant the same time as her, she felt betrayed and angry. After the incident, she had an affair with a friend and is happy about the situation. She feels that she could now smile and take care of her children, unlike before where she didn’t know what love was anymore.
When the fire isn’t there anymore. – If you noticed that you and the missus aren’t spending that much time alone together. You rarely laugh or talk about anything; chances are you’re setting her up for a booty call. Cherry wasn’t unhappily married. She and her husband just seemed to have drifted apart after having to deal with kids and the pressures of work. One summer when her kids weren’t home, she went back to her hometown for a brief visit and met an old friend from high school. What started out over coffee ended up with sex in the man’s house. When asked why she got involved with another man she replied that the attention and compliments so flattered her that she admitted they were things she so wanted to hear.
If you withhold sex to get even. – Passive-aggressive husbands who use sex as a weapon to get even with their wives are wielding a double edged sword. Using sex as a weapon to get even is a misinformed way of dealing with marital dissatisfaction. You are shooting yourself in the leg. If your wife reaches her limit, she may eventually look for sex where it is willingly given.
This time it’s not your problem, she has psychological issues! – We never really get to know the other person until we have lived with them for a long time. Eventually, after the honey period, the euphoria settles down and a situation triggers some imbalance that may have not been apparent before the marriage. Psychological incapacity is a condition that may drive a wife not to honor her marital vows. In this case, it is best to seek therapy for both of you. There may be issues involved that will require professional intervention.
A case of infidelity?
Whatever the reasons may be, infidelity can never be justified. The pressure of work and family may take its toll but in themselves do not compel a person to cheat.
A fling merely serves as a diversion from the real problem. Sites like Ashley Madison provide avenues for discreet encounters where women who have made up their minds to cheat can look for partners.
You owe it to your children to keep their mother happy. Keep cheating from becoming an issue. Keep communication lines open, be committed to spending quality time with your wife and do not to take each other for granted.